May 25, 2013

#myconfessions: yah. i grew up. But still a girl, not yet a woman

Sometimes, I thought that I’m still 15. I’m 18 and this year will turn 19.
People grow up but it doesn’t mean you’ll mature, wiser, and be adult.
Transition? I guess. I feel like I’m not ready but i have to.
Many things happened. Happy, bad, sad, stress, in love, exhausted, confused-times.
I never get bored. Life is always surprise me.
Yep, i mean it. It’s really surprised me.

You did something that you never did.
You got something that you never planned.
You met someone that you never met before.
You let go something that you think it will be last forever.
You had secrets. You found something new, always. Everyday.
We got problems, right. Everyone had. I should thanks all of my problems.
They taught me how to survive, keep alive, and be an adult.
Problem is the relation between human will and reality,
when human will and reality do not coincide. You gotta admit it. Hey, but that’s okay.
Problems teach you how to let go and many things.
I don’t think that things are simply right or wrong.
Things are more complicated than that. When you react to your problems,
 it’s a process in your mind that won’t be the same with anyone else.
 And it’s not about right or wrong. That’s what I learned.
So, i’m trying not to judge what people reaction to their problems.
Better you do it too. Process being an adult is fun so far. You choose you think it’s right. 
You follow your logic, instinct, and mostly… your heart.
You don’t know whether it’s right or wrong.
You made mistakes. You fall but then stand again. You failed and try again.
Sounds fun but it’s not easy. I have many thought in my mind. I worry about many things. 
I scared if I’m failed and won’t make my parents proud of me.
Sometimes, it’s hard to fall sleep because of this too much thinking. Mostly about my future.
My exams, my career, my future husband, my future kids, my future life.
I wish I could have Doraemon’s things so I can use it to see my future.
Wellyah, that’s impossible. But now, i’m trying to ignore it. Just go with the flow.
 Just do your best in present day.
Don’t worry about your future and don’t ever regret about your past.
It’s easy to say it, isn’t it? Well, worth trying. 
Life is so funny. It’s always surprise you. It challenges you.
You take risks. If you win, you will be happy.
 If you lose, you will be wiser. Because life is too short to be unhappy.
Surrounded by people who love you, lift you up.
We can’t please everyone. Just do what you believe in.
 Even miracles take a little time, remember? All it takes just faith and trust.
You will make it. Well, happiness. You choose it. You choose to be happy.
It’s only in your mind. Try to control your mind, and you will get your happiness.

Am I happy? 
Well, honestly? I don’t know for now.. 
But later, i will. I always choose to be happy.
But sometimes you’re just can’t be happy for a moment.
But my family are my everything. I have them. They made me strong. 
Friends? They are always be there. I’m so lucky, indeed.
I feel better now. Writing always heal me. Reading always inspire me.